“I pray that Gabby remembers that just because she is leaving the country doesn’t mean she is leaving the borders of your love.” These words were spoken over me right before I left for Spain and five minutes prior to them I admitted to my pastor about being scared about leaving and being alone in foreign country. When I arrived in Spain, I had a pretty wild first 48 hours. I remember feeling extremely overwhelmed as I switched into a new culture, new rhythm of living, and a new time zone. Something I felt in the midst of all of this chaos swirling around me was an unexplainable peace. I knew that I had made the right decision in coming to Barcelona. This chasm of a leap in faith was just what I needed in my life at that exact moment. I knew God was with me on this journey across the sea and what I discovered while I was there was the ultimate gift.
Friendship is one of the most beautiful experiences of humanity. This is one of the truths that I learned in Spain. There were significant people in my time in Spain that truly made my time there special. The friendship that I discovered the most from though was the one with my Creator. I have always had a deep relationship with God. It is the foundation of who I am at my very core. My identity is rooted in my faith and who I believe God calls me to be. This trip though opened my eyes to what it means to have authentic friendship with the God of the Universe. If you don’t particularly identity with a faith or a belief system or maybe it's different than mine, I urge you to stay with me. Maybe there is something in my words that will speak to you in ways you may not have predicted and in return, I promise to only speak on my experience with the intention of love, hope, and life-giving truth.
One of my biggest prayers as I flew to Barcelona with a heart to spread my art to the world is that people would be able to see God in my art and in me. I desired so deeply that people would feel the well of goodness from which all life flows through the brushstrokes on my canvas. Outside of my work, I wanted to reflect God’s character in the best way I could. I asked God daily to let me see Barcelona and the people there through His eyes. It is through these prayers that I feel my friendship with God deepened. I began to see Him through all the things throughout the day. Like any good friendship, it is built upon trust, communication, and time spent. I found myself continually seeking God in each moment asking Him to reveal Himself to me. And here is what I found- God loves to surprise and delight us because He longs to have an intimate relationship with us. I will give you some examples in the following paragraphs and I hope they make you squeal with joy as they did to me in the moment and even as I recall them for you.
One day I was walking home from a beautiful local dance and music show that displayed the beautiful culture of Catalonia at one of the most beautiful buildings in Barcelona- Palau de La Musica Catalana. It is one of Guadi’s famous works in Barcelona and is stunning in every way. The details are exquisite. It was probably one of my favorite nights that I spent out in Barcelona, but something even more special happened on the way home. There is a homeless man who lived near my building, and I saw him almost everyday walking to work. I firmly believe it is important that we all feel seen in this world regardless of our circumstances, so I always made eye contact, smiled, and waved. This particularly evening I was all dressed up and wearing heels and a nice dress. I saw him in this makeshift bed leaning against a building and he was tucked in tight. I remember thinking it was the cutest thing. I waved to him and said goodnight in Spanish. He looked up and his face just immediately lit up and then he said,” Guapa, Guapa, Guapa!” I knew he didn’t mean it in a provocative way because I could feel the pureness from it. I smiled back and chuckled all the way home. I thought about what it means to make someone feel seen and how in return you can feel it just as much if not more. It was a pivotal moment for me in Spain and maybe some of you don’t understand. I get it- you are thinking there was so much beauty to the night and the moment with the homeless man was your favorite? It’s because my favorite part of being human is being a part of humanity and participating in the overall health as a whole. For me, that is defined in how I show up in life, how I behave in my relationships, and what I give to the world. This moment lit me up just as it lit that man up because it solidified what means the most to me- to reflect God in His desire to love us and let us be seen.
In my previous blog, I mentioned my friendship with Joan Bueno- the 91-year-old artist I met at the Cercle. His friendship brought me so much joy and laughter. It ignited a part of me that I felt was a little broken. He reminded me not to be ashamed of how free I can be, but to actually embrace it. In the moments I spent with him I found myself laughing so hard I would shed tears. I smiled so much that my cheeks began to hurt. I felt free from all the constraints I had put on myself. There are so many lessons I learned from this friendship. One of the major ones was how humanity is interconnected and just because someone is widely different than us doesn’t mean we cannot connect or love them a lot. There was a special moment in this friendship as well that led me to the importance of what it means to be seen. Feel free to read the previous blog for all the details.
“My little butterfly” is the nickname that my best friend from Brazil, Juliana, gave me in Barcelona. My friendship with Juliana came about fast as we discovered the love we had for each other even without knowing the other person super well. She taught me what It means to extend true hospitality. She let me be seen in my raw form. We came from different experiences and honestly completely different lives and yet I love my friend Juliana so much. She showed up for me even when I felt I was asking too much. She would always say “Count on me”. It reminded me of the friendship between Winnie the Pooh and Piglet; it came easy and didn’t need much fluff. The friendship was just simply there. Juliana is utterly beautiful in every sense, but my favorite thing about her is how she loves people sacrificially by putting aside her own time and energy to help people just to do so. She taught me that sometimes being seen means letting people in even if it makes you uncomfortable. I had to ask for her help a lot and it was really uncomfortable, but on the other side I found that I learned so much from her and how she aided me during my time there.
All these people unveiled the truth that God works through all things and people regardless of how they feel about Him. I believe we are all made in God’s image and so inherently we are reflecting bits and pieces of His character. These friendships that happened in such a short period of time allowed me to deepen my friendship with God. I saw Him working through all things for my good (Romans 8:28). The beauty of humanity is the relationships we create and how love flourishes when we allow ourselves to be seen as well as choosing to see others. God utilized all these different people from completely different backgrounds to deepen my understanding of who He is. We, humans, have the opportunity to see people and to let ourselves be seen. When we do this act of vulnerability, I believe we are getting just a glimpse at the goodness that awaits us with a relationship with God.
